Author: Rachel Nikolaevna

So its almost 11 at night and my Holy Spirit is just talking away.

I had left to go to church earlier on in the evening and I came home to my daily devotional scattered all around the floor ripped into tiny little pieces.

MAN, I loved this devotional so much! I used it daily and it’s a big part of my everyday routine.

I looked over at my little black dog on the couch who looked guilty as ever and I asked her if she did it. She looked away and I could feel the shame in her little heart and soul. It broke my heart.

I went over to her and just loved on her. I kissed her little face over and over again and told her I loved her even though she ripped my favorite book apart.

Then it got me thinking. A light bulb went off in my head.

This is exactly how God feels about us. No matter what we do He will always lean down and love on us when we feel guilt over something we did.

The way God feels about us is way more important than any sin we will ever commit. He will run after you even when you feel you don’t deserve His love and grace. Which is all the time in my case!

Of course God never wants us to commit sins, but He is slow to anger and very quick to forgive.

What Jesus did for us on the cross speaks louder than any mistake we will ever make in this life.

You guys, this should be freeing in so many ways.

GOD LOVES YOU NO MATTER WHAT.

Just like if you have an animal or even a child, you will one way or another have something broken or ripped up because of them.

Remember that we are sinners and we will never be able to earn God’s love and grace by our works.

Which means nothing in this world can live up to perfection. We NEED God’s love and forgiveness.

Let’s be more like God when it comes to getting mad or upset over something that just isn’t worth it.

“The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. He does not punish us for all our sins; as does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.” -Psalm 103:8-10; NLT

I thought this title was quite appropriate for what I want to talk about today.

This morning I woke up feeling nervous and scared for what was to come with this hurricane.

Then I thought, “Rachel, what is wrong with you? Don’t you know that God holds this whole world in His precious hands?”

It is so easy to worry and struggle over what could happen from natural causes.

It takes all the faith and all the trust that you have in God to settle your mind, heart, and soul.

This morning I woke to the rain beating down and hitting the window in my bedroom and It frightened me a bit. I got under the covers and prayed, “Please calm this storm and keep your people safe. Please calm my wondering heart and help me to see you in all my fears.” I prayed this over and over again until I fell back into a sleep.

When things like this happen, it is very humbling to us as humans. We realize that there is absolutely nothing we can do in this case and must reach up to God.

Don’t you think that is ultimately what God wants?

It seems that we only look up when something really bad is coming. For instance, a natural disaster.

We pray when we feel desperate, but then when everything seems alright in the world, we say “okay God, I am good now. Thanks!” and go on about our life.

I pray that people come to learn that we need God ALL OF THE TIME!!! 24/7.

I sit here and I can confidently say, the God I worship is so good!!!!!

I will sit and pray on all that I am thankful for. I will pray for God to protect those He loves and I pray that whatever the reason is for natural disasters that we as people can rise above it all and help one another and keep the faith so strong that we are no longer scared for what is to come.

I love how Dr. Lutzer says it: “What we need to realize is that God can be trusted, even when it seems as if He is not on our side. We have to point people to the fact that God has intervened in our planet by sending Jesus Christ. There we see the love of God most clearly.”

It was Martin Luther who said, “When you look around and wonder whether God cares, you must always hurry to the cross and you must see Him there.”

Friends, did you know that God can move mountains bigger than the issue you are dealing with in this very moment? Did you know that God can change your life in just a split second???

Do you fully believe this??? One thing I know for certain about God is He has never given up on us.

SO why so many times do people give up on Him? Why is it that I hear people say, “you know Rachel, I am just not seeing results from praying so I just give up.”

This is absolutely ludicrous. Why are people giving up on the God who created this universe? The one who holds it all in His hands??

What I am trying to say is so many people underestimate God. They don’t realize that one day you could say the smallest prayer and that could be the BIGGEST breakthrough for you and your life!!!

Just because God isn’t giving you exactly what you pray for in that moment does not mean He is not listening or doesn’t care.

He is good and wants the best for your life!

Sometimes what you want isn’t the best in Gods eyes.

I know how it is easy to be selfish and want what you want in that moment.

BUT I will say through personal experience I have developed this want and NEED for God’s way in my life. I want HIS plan and HIS purpose.

If you want God’s will in your life, His will is what you will receive.

You have to be willing to endure the hardships because God always has a plan for them.

We need to trust those more and know that it isn’t that Jesus said, “okay go ahead, I gave you what you needed, now you are on your own.” NO. He will walk with you every step of the way!!! You are never alone.

Through hardships and happy times.

As you can see I am so very passionate about this because I see so many people give up on God when really they should be giving it to God!

Trust more and worry less. Be less selfish and more selfless. You can see through a new pair of lenses if you walk through life like this. I promise you.

In the times of confusion, go help someone who needs it. Sometimes the things that feel like mountains in your life is only a grain of sand. Start looking at others and their needs. Again, “Be Selfless”

Look at your blessings, not your burdens.

Trust God fully and NEVER EVER stop praying.

God is known for MIRACLES!!!

Friends, do you ever have those moments and days of weakness? Do you have those days where you just feel “off” and don’t understand why those emotions are consuming you mentally and physically?

Personally, I feel that a lot. It wasn’t until reading more of God’s word that I understood it more and was able to embrace those moments and pray about them instead of just staying that draining mentality.

We always have the ability to change how we feel. Now I am not going to say that I myself don’t struggle in my own ways, BUT I do find comfort in my God.

I find comfort in being able to pray to God about the true and honest me. The true and honest me is messy and broken. We ALL are messy and broken in our own ways.

We have to look at that as beautiful. We have to look at our brokenness as beauty. When we turn a new leaf on our perspective, things start to really change within us.

It will become more of a habit to pray during the times of uncertainty and weakness instead of digging deeper into that hole.

We are worthy and we are loved by God. He loves us so much that He wants to hear all of our thoughts, feelings and even anger that comes over us.

He understands all of it. He will bend down and listen to you every single time you reach out for Him.

Have you ever thought that maybe when you start feeling “off” is God knocking on your heart to tell you to come to Him?

He has interesting ways to pull you closer in to Him.

Friends, you NEED God. I don’t care who you are. You will always need your Holy Father.

He knows you in and out. Do not be ashamed of that.

I encourage you to be thankful for that. God knew what He was doing when He created your beautiful self.

I promise you!!!! You have a purpose and a reason to be here on this earth.

Ask God what that is. Rest in His arms and cry out for Him to hold you even tighter when you feel weak in your mind and spirit.

When I say that you will always be ok, I mean that. For God will never give you pain without a purpose behind it.

Even when we have those days where we feel off and insecure and feeling like we just don’t know what’s going on, remember that there can be a purpose for that.

He wants you to reach out to Him.

Friends, I want to be very honest with you for a minute. One thing that I always had a problem with growing up is feeling like I always needed someone with me. A guy in my life to make me feel important. I never embraced myself until I was almost 20.

I needed to take time to figure out what I was searching for in these guys that just weren’t doing the job.

Since I was a little girl I remember always asking myself “could I marry this guy?” If the answer was yes then I would go forward with this person. Regardless of what anyone said around me.

That was my first mistake. I realized that during this time, I was just settling so that I could be with someone.

When I got out of my last relationship in 2015 before meeting my fiancé, I was ready to never be with anyone ever again! I wanted to stay single forever! He made me have the worst feelings about myself. He constantly talked down to me. He made me feel like I wanted to hide under a rock and never come out. I had to completely rebuild my self esteem. I had to start from scratch.

It was such a dark time in life, but I continued to be with this person who was causing me so much pain. “Why Rachel?”

After being disappointed time and time again, I finally was fed up, I drove to the beach, played one of my favorite songs by Third Day called Revelation. I was crying and praying to God, “please help me.” “What should I do?” “Please God, give me the strength to just leave.”

On a side note, another thing I realized during this time in my life was that this person took me further away from the Lord, instead of brining me closer. That should have been my first sign to get out faster, but it wasn’t.

Finally I heard a calm sweet voice in my head say “it’s time to go now.”

There was my Holy Spirit giving me the words I needed. I finally left after a LONG 9 months with this person.

You are probably wondering why I am writing this blog.

Well its because I want to tell all of the woman out there that YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING.

Never ever feel guilty if you feel deep down in your heart and soul that it is time to leave something that is toxic for you. It is okay and God will reward you for that. He rewarded me that’s for sure!

Never ever let a man treat you less than what God says you deserve.

I was by myself for almost 2 years and it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. It was true intimate time with my Holy Father. I learned so much about myself and how God feels of me.

We as woman a lot of times feel like we have to “fix” the guy we are with. That is why we never give up on them because we almost feel responsible for that person. After analyzing myself, I figured out that is exactly what I was doing. I thought I could change this person.

I want you to know that you are not responsible for your significant other. Your partner is responsible for themselves.

I had to learn this the hard way.

Most importantly I learned that God has a man for me. I just had to wait and be patient for Him to reveal that guy to me. God will do the same for you too!

I trusted Him fully to show me this man when the time was right. I was just embracing my time by myself and leaning on God fully.

Sure enough, in Dec of 2017, I met the man of my dreams. I remember coming home that night and peaking my head into my moms room saying “start planning the wedding.” I knew this was a God thing!

Sure enough, he proposed to me in Dec 2018 and now in less than 2 months I will be marrying my best friend. Someone who loves God and leads me in His love.

I am so grateful for the grace and patience the Lord had and has for me in this life.

Everyday learning about who you are is a new day to embrace who God has created you to be.

Remember who you are and stand up for your morals and beliefs.

God will fill in the rest!

Friends, I truly believe that a lot of us struggle with what our purpose is in this crazy life. I was one of these people that struggled with finding mine.

I never felt I had a strong point in life, so I felt like I was sorta just going through the motions.

I realized how empty this made me feel. I felt like I was not benefiting this world in any positive ways. That really did take a toll on me.

So I prayed. I prayed that God would use me as a vessel for His love to others.

I found that I very much did have a purpose after praying and reading God’s truths about me.

He says I am the beautiful one and that He does have plans for me.

I think we often get into our heads and we start believing our self doubt. My advise to you, DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT YOUR FEEL. Believe what God says.

Sometimes our purpose isn’t going to be a specific thing. It’s going to be waking up, realizing to whom you belong to, and praying for Him to direct your path JUST for that day.

Do not get too ahead of yourself.

Don’t think about your end point. Think about the journey that God is going to lead you through.

I have learned that the journey is the most beautiful part of walking with Jesus.

I want you to know that you have a purpose. You always have a purpose when you’re given another day.

Your task for this day could be different from the task that God has for you a week from today.

It makes us continuously go back to God and ask Him, what’s next, Father? Help me to be vulnerable to your ways. Let me live out what you need me to live out.

Help me to speak to the people who need to spoken to.

Help me to inspire those who need inspiration.

I PROMISE if we take our purpose day by day, it will make more sense. Remember, God can use you when you become a vessel to Him.

Hi Friends! It has been a little while since I have posted a blog. Life can be crazy sometimes and it’s hard to just stop and find the time to sit and write.

I have learned a lot about myself in the last 3 years with God. One thing I learned is that writing is actually very stress relieving.

I hated school growing up and it was never quite my thing. I never thought I was any good at writing papers and I always had the worst attitude about school in general.

So in other words, I never thought that I would have started my own blog.

I am so thankful for the places God has led me and also the things He has taught me in the past 3 years.

I have finally took that leap of faith and I quit my full time job to pursue something that has been a desire in my heart for over a month now.

Taking that leap can be so darn scary and it feels like you are on a tight rope.

Striving with God is something that can be nerve wracking but in all actuality, it does not have to be at all.

It should be the most exciting thing of all!

It’s called trusting in His ways and His plans for your life.

I know for me that God never put a desire on my heart that wasn’t something that He actually wanted to complete in me.

SO let me tell you my story. The past month or so I have been wanting to work from home. So I could really dive deep into my ministry and have more time to do so, considering I would basically be my own boss since I would be working from home.

Which means setting my own hours etc. I had this in my mind and I was determined to get it! I wasn’t going to stop until I did. I KNEW and KNOW that God has big plans for my life.

So long story short, I landed the opportunity and it just seemed way too good to be true, you guys. I was over here thinking what is the catch? Is this something God is putting directly into my lap??

I had a lot of thinking to do and also a lot of talking to my love ones as well for their opinions and also support for my future.

I made that a sign that I wanted from God. I wanted for my love ones to be supportive and also excited for this opportunity and not hesitant.

My mom is the first one to be skeptical so I asked God, “if this is something I should pursue, please let me feel a sense of positivity from my mom when I call her.”

Sure enough when I called my mom, she was ecstatic for me! She knew that this is what I have been wanting for a while now and was so happy that something was happening with it.

My fiancé was of course on board because he really always supports me in the things I want to do in life.

Needless to say, God has blessed me beyond measure.

Even then, you are still walking through the unknown. Jesus never leaves you nor forsakes you. So that alone gives me so much comfort. I know that God will never let me fall so hard that I can not get up.

Going forward, I will STRIVE with God into the work that He has for me!