Friends, I want to be very honest with you for a minute. One thing that I always had a problem with growing up is feeling like I always needed someone with me. A guy in my life to make me feel important. I never embraced myself until I was almost 20.
I needed to take time to figure out what I was searching for in these guys that just weren’t doing the job.
Since I was a little girl I remember always asking myself “could I marry this guy?” If the answer was yes then I would go forward with this person. Regardless of what anyone said around me.
That was my first mistake. I realized that during this time, I was just settling so that I could be with someone.
When I got out of my last relationship in 2015 before meeting my fiancé, I was ready to never be with anyone ever again! I wanted to stay single forever! He made me have the worst feelings about myself. He constantly talked down to me. He made me feel like I wanted to hide under a rock and never come out. I had to completely rebuild my self esteem. I had to start from scratch.
It was such a dark time in life, but I continued to be with this person who was causing me so much pain. “Why Rachel?”
After being disappointed time and time again, I finally was fed up, I drove to the beach, played one of my favorite songs by Third Day called Revelation. I was crying and praying to God, “please help me.” “What should I do?” “Please God, give me the strength to just leave.”
On a side note, another thing I realized during this time in my life was that this person took me further away from the Lord, instead of brining me closer. That should have been my first sign to get out faster, but it wasn’t.
Finally I heard a calm sweet voice in my head say “it’s time to go now.”
There was my Holy Spirit giving me the words I needed. I finally left after a LONG 9 months with this person.
You are probably wondering why I am writing this blog.
Well its because I want to tell all of the woman out there that YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING.
Never ever feel guilty if you feel deep down in your heart and soul that it is time to leave something that is toxic for you. It is okay and God will reward you for that. He rewarded me that’s for sure!
Never ever let a man treat you less than what God says you deserve.
I was by myself for almost 2 years and it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. It was true intimate time with my Holy Father. I learned so much about myself and how God feels of me.
We as woman a lot of times feel like we have to “fix” the guy we are with. That is why we never give up on them because we almost feel responsible for that person. After analyzing myself, I figured out that is exactly what I was doing. I thought I could change this person.
I want you to know that you are not responsible for your significant other. Your partner is responsible for themselves.
I had to learn this the hard way.
Most importantly I learned that God has a man for me. I just had to wait and be patient for Him to reveal that guy to me. God will do the same for you too!
I trusted Him fully to show me this man when the time was right. I was just embracing my time by myself and leaning on God fully.
Sure enough, in Dec of 2017, I met the man of my dreams. I remember coming home that night and peaking my head into my moms room saying “start planning the wedding.” I knew this was a God thing!
Sure enough, he proposed to me in Dec 2018 and now in less than 2 months I will be marrying my best friend. Someone who loves God and leads me in His love.
I am so grateful for the grace and patience the Lord had and has for me in this life.
Everyday learning about who you are is a new day to embrace who God has created you to be.
Remember who you are and stand up for your morals and beliefs.
God will fill in the rest!